Monday, August 24, 2009


The things we got up to were pretty hilarious sometimes down right stupid and even tragic.

At one time some of us started to run out of petrol coming back from the club - no funny matter at 1 in the morning on an estate road, 5km away from your warm bed. The culprit eventually turned out to be the 'podiun' one the of SD's used to bring with him to the club, supposedly to hold his billiard cue for him. The reality was that the kid would go drain our petrol tanks while we were at dinner so that his 'Dore' went home literally AND figuratively tanked up while the rest of us ran the risk of sobering up pushing a dead bike uphill.


A colleague in love ran up this humongous phone bill sweet talking his girl friend in Kandy. When shown the bill by the Chief Clark he loudly disputed it, demanding that an itemized bill be called for, putting off the inevitable for a few months. While it was no surprise that there was almost 15K worth of calls to one number in Kandy, it was a surprise to find 5000 bucks worth of calls to Galle! His best friend on the adjoing estate had been sneaking into the bungalow when he was out, to call his sweet heart!


Six months into my first billet I wanted to go to Kurivita to meet some friends for lunch on a Sunday, almost a two hour ride. Since the Superintendent was on leave I sought permission from the Snr SD, who gave the matter some thought before telling me that it was OK, but I had to check in with him before I left in the morning. He goes on to kindly offer me use of his bike - something unheard of - on the basis that my rust bucket would not make the journey without a break down. Needless to say I was touched by the gesture and expressed my appreciation.

I turned up at his bungalow at 7 to find the guy dressed to the nines and planning to leave the estate unattended! The rule is that there has to be one executive on the property at all times, no exceptions. The plan now as he outlines it to me is that I have to drop him at the Hatton Railway station and then pick him up from Avissawella Rest House at 4 that evening.

I'm not going to argue with him, he's the boss and if he wants to scoot its his problem, I've already got his permission to leave the estate, I'm covered no matter what happens.

I'm at the Rest House at 4, cool my heels for almost 90 minutes when this guy comes rushing in saying 'lets go, lets go'! He hops on front, I get on the pillion and we are off, tearing down the road...

'Whats the rush' I ask, "Boss' he says, 'where?' goes I, "behind us" he says... and looking over my shoulder, I do indeed see a familier Isuzu Trooper coming up behind us!


The Annual club dance was always something looked forward to and as it was a major fund raising event we cracked our heads trying to make things interesting to draw a crowed - It was also one of the few occasions we got to ogle the regions Superintendents daughters and if we were really lucky, their daughters friends too.

Mr SM, a man who deserves a post of his own, was club president one year and mooted the idea of a Cabaret. That dance night, at mid night the lights went off and after a few seconds a single spotlight focused on the stage at the far corner. On it was a cabaret line of three chorus girls who proceeded to do a Can Can while Mr SM did an incredible rendition of New York New York. The crowed goes wild, the guys are hooting, all going well. Song ends, light goes off, when it comes back the chorus line is gone.

Mr SM is mobbed as guys surround him asking him who the girls are and where they are,but he remains mum. What he knows and no one else does is that the three 'girls' were in fact me and another two guys dressed in drag, with wigs and make up!

By the way, the club was also used as a Lodge by the Freemasons who used to stack all their ritual paraphernalia - swords and spears - at the back of the ladies bathroom - a room which had this long corridor to it. Mr AT a close colleague and I used to have it at each other fencing in that corridor brandishing a sword in one hand and spear in the other. We were eventually caught by the Lodge Master who was also the Club President at the time. We had our bar privileges taken off for a month and had to rely upon our friends generosity for a drink.

Naff for today, more to come....


  1. I love this!!! :D haha seems like you had a whale of a time! especially love the annual dance trick! should do this sometime! :D Great post (as always) Sig! :)

  2. @ Chavie: My thanks. If you do go drag, there better be photographs to show!

  3. That was a lot of amusing stories.. and the best was the part about you guys dressed in drag doing the cancan. lol