Thursday, July 31, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Absurd as it was, this was not only a dream that I remembered but one that left me curiously happy too!
A row of apartments constructed along the model of a train station(?!), housing residential as well as the commercial.
The obvious highlight was the anticipation of spending an evening with my dearest friend, who was visiting, staying over at my bachelor pad (those last few words crafted with care for they convey personal circumstances most desirable).
Interwoven into this tale was a discussion with my mater about my antique furniture, said furniture having been sold by her to make space for the arrival of my elder brother on a one day stay – that my furniture was retained by my ex three years ago was somehow an inconvenient reality.
So there I was, the proud owner of a apartment/ flat, independent in more ways than one, busy, coffee with my friend, all good.
That I forgot where my flat was, that my friend was already there, that the commercial tenants included a grocery and a meat shop were mere trimmings to a dream that put a smile on my face.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Monday, July 7, 2008
I feel a sense of calm, I feel a comforting presence reaching out to embrace me across the distance... the time is right, perhaps it is a reality and not the makings of a wishful mind.
Its these moments that make it all worth while - this is where my strength is drawn from, this is my distant shore...
Apparently the stars have mis-aligned themselves against me and all is not well in the realms of my life; and, unless I do something about, I am basically in for unspeakable horrors.
Which is why, after a not insignificant periof of time, I found myself back in the vicinity of a Hindu kovil. Now, a lesser known fact about me is that I was at one time the chief custodian of a kovil, officiating at all the pooja's taking my place amongst the devotees each day. A role unlikely of a half kandyan, govigama buddhist for sure, but one that I played with piety and devotion.
Truth is, it was like coming home again as the smell of incense, burning oil, the sounds of the drums, bells and chanting spilled over me. It was certainly with a lighter heart that I worshiped that morn, asking not for material gain but for the strength to deal with the consequences of my actions.
There is only so much that can do about where my life goes. Perhaps all I can do is walk it with head held high, stoic if need be in the face of trial.
That my anchor has come lose a cause of concern, for without it I am at the mercy of the elements. I see my shore in the distance, barely glimpsed through the darkness, the wind, rain and waves that rage around me.... but I see it. I will reach shore or die trying - no shame in that
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
For the longest time we lost touch, but never forgot and in recent times she stepped up to walk with me in my troubled times.
Her most recent words to me I share with you all.
Hi my friend!My friend, thank you. You have always been there for me, never letting time or distance get in the way.
Today I read: Four rules for happiness
1. Try to get what you want - but don`t demand it
2. accept yourself, what ever happens, for this moment
3. Give Love and stand to attention even if you don`t get what you want
4. respect and take care of youself, whatever happens
and the final meaning is: luck didn`t depends on, who you are or what you have; it depends only of what you are thinking!
I know, that`s nothing really new, but sometimes it`s good to read such easy lessons for living
I send you lot of light thoughts and hope you feel good - life is waiting for you