Feeling the pinch

I'm beginning to feel the effects of this global financial crisis and it worries me!

Last year, Apr 2008 to Mar 2009 was a good year for me, the area I am responsible for exceeded expectations, setting a whole new set of bench marks.

Of course a good performance is a double edged sword, everyone, realistically or otherwise, expects that to be out-done come hell or high water in the year that follows.

Going into April this year I was not too concerned, in fact the projections for the month indicated a marginal increase on budget. This sense of well being was shattered in the following two months with a 5% and then 30% decline leaving me 33% behind at the end of the 1st quarter.

My own projections for the next three months look a disaster, I'll be lucky to achieve 50% of budget.

A constant headache, nights spent tossing and turning are taking a toll on me and I find myself increasingly despondent, becoming more and more lethargic. That back-office does little to support the front line is another cause of frustration, one that is a constant thorn in my side.

It ain't easy to deliver when the back up does not share a mutual sense of pride in perfection and meeting, nay exceeding, client expectations!

This is a rant, one that I am not really apologetic about because I am pissed and worried. On a personal front I cannot afford a change in status qou, and a change I'll have to call for if I cannot justify my existence in this position.

God I so badly need a break, just one break to ease a little bit of the pressure, buy me sometime to re group, to step back and recuperate, charge up the power cells, take care of some repairs.

Yeah, my health sucks too right now, shit, when it happens, it pours...

Oh well, c' est la vie!