With no futher ado then, here's mine
"Its with humility I accept this responsibility that you the citizens of Suba Anagatheyak have placed upon me in electing me to this position and in doing so I am fully aware of the obligation I have to fulfill your dreams and aspirations to make this beautiful land of ours a better place and a true paradiseAn open invite one and all, lets hear what you would say!
No one man can bring us into the light, rather it is as one that we will lift ourselves out of the darkness into a tomorrow that will see our children grow free of fear, in a land of opportunity.
There is much to be done, we cannot think for even a moment that all will now be well, we have merely taken the first of many steps required for us to go forward.
With your support, with your help, together, as Suba Anagatheyan's we will succeed.
We will start by focusing on increasing the government's income, reducing expenditure, rationalizing our government to ensure that there is no overlap of functionality and responsibility. All the members of this government and the people who work for it will be held responsible and accountable for their actions.
Our tolarance for corruption will be zero, and with this goal ahead of us, it will be mandotary for all senior public servants, Members of Parliament, members of this cabinet and their immediate families to declare their assets, with no exception
Steps will be taken to free the Judiciary to act independently in ensuring that this country will progress within the framework of our constitution, free of any interference In time to come, every institution that makes up the backbone of this nation will be held accountable to act in an independent and fair manner while discharging their responsibility to all citizens.
Developing our agricultural sector, education, health and power will take priority, as will ensuring freedom of speech and allowing an independent media
All Suba Anagathyans will have the right to fair and equal treatment irrespective of ideology, ethnicity, religion, from this day forth we will all be guided by the morals and principles of wisdom, compassion, kindness, by treating others as we would they treat us"
Not different to a typical manifesto!
ReplyDeleteDoes not say how you gonna do all that in one day :D
i used yours as the foundation for mine. hope you don't mind. if i ever do become president, no one can ever accuse me of not putting my intentions on the table.
ReplyDeleteIts with pseudo-humility and a huge beating of my chest (metaphorically of course, since actually hitting myself will hurt) I accept this responsibility that you the citizens of the Banana Republic of the Indian Ocean have placed upon me in pretending to elect me while I elected myself to this position. In doing so I am fully aware of the obligation I have to fulfill my dreams (and yours if time and resources permit, which I doubt) and aspirations to make this beautiful land of ours a better place and a true paradise.
No one man can bring us into the light. Since I’m a woman, you’re in luck. I am the way, the light etc. It is as one that you will lift me and my immediate family out of the darkness into a tomorrow that will see our children grow free of fear, in a land of opportunity.
There is much to be done, we cannot think for even a moment that all will now be well, we have merely taken the first of many steps required for us to go forward. I will now start filling my bank accounts. First here then in Switzerland. For the sake of the Suba in your Anagathaya, I urge you not to resist the increase in taxes. With your support, with your help, together, as Suba Anagatheyan's we will succeed.
We will start by focusing on increasing the government's income, reducing expenditure on you and increasing it on me, rationalizing our government to ensure that there is no overlap of functionality and responsibility (why bother with an opposition when you have an omnipotent government. By government I mean of course, me). All the members of this government and the people who work for it will be taught to get away with breaking the law and to ignore when I’m doing the breaking. It is also clear that most citizens and even some of my past, present and future minions know not of the constitution. They will be educated on it and about it so that they will know exactly when to ignore it.
Our tolerance for corruption will be zero, and with this goal ahead of us, it will be mandatory for all senior public servants, Members of Parliament, members of this cabinet and their immediate families to declare the assets they wish to plunder and make money from, with no exception (yes, I’m starting on my list now). You see, if it’s declared then it ceases to be corruption and starts to be investment.
Steps will be taken to free the judiciary to act independently and to ensure that they will stop interfering in my business with their opinions. This country will progress backwards within the framework of our constitution, free of any interference. In time to come, every institution that makes up the backbone of this nation will be held accountable to act in an independent and fair manner while discharging their responsibility to all citizens, firstly of course to me, the first citizen.
Developing our agricultural sector, education, health and power will take priority, as will ensuring freedom of speech and allowing an independent media. With this in mind tenders will be called and if you wish to receive it, please email me with “Re: Tender application” in the subject line. More room will be created for the independent media in Welikada and Bogambara and the Lipton Circus will be declared a high security zone.
All Suba Anagathyans will have the right to fair and equal ill-treatment irrespective of ideology, ethnicity, religion, from this day forth we will all be guided by the morals and principles of …………….. (in the spirit of democracy and participating in governance, I leave you to fill in the blanks as you wish)
erm, now that i read it again, i'm not sure if i come across as offensive and mocking. just for the record, no offence meant sig. hope you don't take any.
ReplyDelete@ Kirigalpotha: Hehe, thats the great thing about it, I can say all of that and not have to be reminded later!!
ReplyDelete@ PP: No offense taken at all - its all in good fun! I liked yours so much I abdicated, I mean resigned in your favor!
Sigma, you should be our President for much more than 1 day, I love your manifesto! :D
ReplyDeleteHere's mine:
"Dear Citizens of Ceylon, my brothers. It is humbling to see the response I have received from all of you during my campaign for the Presidency, and I thank you for electing me as your fearless, all-powerful leader.
It is my personal belief that the best kind of government is a government that intervenes as little as possible in the day-to-day lives of it's citizens, and therefore today, through Presidential decree, I abolish all laws that I have considered as a hindrance to the Citizens of this great country enjoying their hard-earned personal freedom. This includes, but is not limited to, various sanctions placed on religious beliefs, sexual orientation as well as land rights. I also aim to reduce taxation and privatize all loss-making government institutions, including the Petroleum Corp. and Electricity Board, while introducing tough new anti-trust and anti-corruption laws. I will also legalize Marijuana, just for the sake of it! ;)
In the next few months, I plan to pass through Parliament a new constitution, which abolishes all political parties, and introduces a new decentralized government framework, much akin to the Swarajya concept, but slightly simplified. More power shall be vested in non-partisan village-level democratically elected representatives, including the administration of local schools, hospitals, as well as local development such as water projects and road maintenance. We shall eliminate the need for you to go to BigCapitalCity to see your government, and make the government come to YOU instead.
So, in conclusion, Thank you again for trusting me with your children's futures, and I hope that I will be able to serve you to the best of my abilities, and keep your trust. Thank You!"
;)