White Flag

"I will go down with this ship And I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door I'm in love and always will be" Dido

I've been staring at those words for the last 20 minutes, my mind filled with a swirl of thoughs, my emotions wild and free, hurt and tethered. I've sort solance in the words of the Little Prince, of tamings and of the wheat fields, of a fox and a rose and of the baobab's.

I sort escape in speed this morning, pushing myself,testing my machine and it brought back to me another time long past when I did the same, recklessly so. At that time I sort oblivion, and yet did not have the courage to follow through. I dont know what it is I sort today.

My life has become a kaleidoscope of emotion, every single hue swirling around me, lifiting me high into the sky one moment only to cast me into the depths of sadness. It is a terrible place to be, it is a wonderful place to be, but I am not alone.

I would feel this than feel nothing at all.

Life, Hope, Wish and Desire