It's a new year!!!!

So, its' finally happened and with the passing of an old year a new one dawned. I have to comment that with age, each year seems to get shorter and shorter, I cannot believe how fast the last one went by....!

I've started off well, my sole resolution for the year that I not have any resolutions. That behind me, I suspect that sky's the limit in terms of what I can do and cannot.

I've been contemplating my life, the universe and my navel over the last few days and come to some conclusions - primarily that life must be lived. There really isn't very much else one can do with it, is there?

Then I had to also take into consideration words of wisdom cast before me by the "Oh Wise One's" (OWO's are a select band of merry men and women that I rely on to keep me sane most of the time - my little advisory board if you like). What they had to say was kind of interesting

Jade Peacock: "Enjoy it, you get only one"
BlackStilettos: "You are in for an interesting one"
Lucy: "Bugs, two bugs"
Star: "Stolen moments"
Sound master: "DIP" or something to that effect

Then of course there is Fonny, Astro consultant par excellence! Now he had lots to say, most of it all good.

So you know what, I am going to live.. I will take a day at a time, keeping personal and professional apart as much as possible. That is not to mean that I will not plan, planning an integral part of ensuring that his year of the Rat will one for the books.

Did I mention that I turn forty? I do.... I think I am supposed to go through some crisis or the other around this time, at least that's what I read. But I have noticed a few things about me like I shush people when their phones go off at the movies, gardening is suddenly interesting and I am more inclined to tell people to shut up. Then I have concerns about rudeness, graffiti, the newspaper arriving late, the decline of public services and the possible truth in libido jibes all the time thinking that younger people with baggy pants look stupid and sinister and crossing the street to avoid them.

I have taken to arguing with the TV but I am no longer quite as perturbed about making small talk with little children as I used to be. Bird song is good but its either hardly ever quiet enough or things are too quiet. I've also realised that I am going to die sooner than ever, which is why I need to live.

Truth though is that I am at a milestone in my life. I used to think that I peaked at 36 - recently divorced, had an incredible lover, everything was good. But 40 sounds good to me, 40 sounds right for me and I am embracing it with all that I am.

Time will tell.

It draws closer...

Oh the end drags itself so painfully….. the last week has seem endless and I am certainly no closer to being in a working mood… me suspects that it will be around the second week of the new year that I will hit my stride.

It was rather coincidental that I happened to write about relationships a few days ago and how some of them had settled upon new planes. Two in particular stand out for as one meandered away another appeared.

Sometime last year my path crossed someone elses' and the experience was exhilarating; for along the way I made a friend. But, nothing last’s forever, and life is a never ending series of change. That for a while we shared common ground is what counts and I am happy for that encounter.

But as paths split, they also meet others and in life, nothings forgotten, nothings ever forgotten…. Pleasant it is when a path that one thought had disappeared should suddenly find its way back. And the wonder of friendship is that the really good ones pick up from where they dropped with nary a skip. This unexpected encounter has made me sit back and think about lost opportunities, about the doors that we never knock on for whatever reason, of the 'what ifs' of the past.

Another year...

The end of one and the dawn of another almost upon us and it's time to spend sometime in introspection, to look back as well as well as forward to see what the future holds....

This year has certainly been full of it's moments. I've been driven to the point of screeching (yes, I can screech) and soared like a bird at times. The lows of the early part of the year replaced by a high in this last 28 days.

The Mangroves is almost done, and though it has brought me almost to the steps of the poor house, I am so pleased with the fact that it is. Constrained though I have been been, the end result is something that I am happy with and that is ultimately what counts. It is with a sense of satisfaction that I contemplate having achieved this.

Friendships too played a significant role this year in my life, relationships redefined, some renewed, some to settle on a new plain. Ghosts of the past were laid to rest and I am at peace with many things that made me restless.

A few more days and 2008 dawns. As things are, I am looking forward to it! There are a few things that I need to adjust myself to fit in with a particular environment; working on it I am. I have to if I am to keep myself sane.

On the other hand there is Life, Hope, Wish and Desire!

I suspect that the next year will be an interesting one - the stage is set me thinks for an impromptu performance.

"You become responsible, forever, for what you tamed" - The Little Prince

Christmas eve, and a moment etched in my mind; I am lost... fills my heart, fills my soul and I am desolate

All I want for Christmas is.....

For the first time in my adult life, I actually want something for Christmas. That what I want is already mine the twist to the tale.

The last week has been spent in another world, one very different to what my life is right now, and one that I am wishing was my reality. A chanced meeting, albeit brief, but the echos of that moment have rung across more than a decade to resonate again with the crystal notes of a ice cold mountain stream. My soul is dancing to the music of the cosmos, soaring in the sky....

Life, Hope, Wish and Desire..... this is what fills me......

From the darkness to the light

Looking through the viewfinder, it suddenly struck me how singularly reflective this image was. The light at the end of the tunnel is often considered to convey a sense of hope and yet, there are contexts within which it can convey something else altogether. A point which was driven in as I stood at the entrance of the passage on Goree Island, leading towards the gates of no return - http://www.flickr.com/photos/sigmadelta/1413300405/in/set-72157594522046546/ -

Here the light was not to inspire hope, rather to lead into despair and a life time of servitude

This image though speaks to me differently. It conveys to me present and future, current and the promise of what tomorrow could bring. The ever moving waves, the constant change in my life, the lit path, where my steps take me out into the unknown and the promise of light and color in the future.....

Je suis heureux

My life....

So many things going on around me, sometimes it feels like I'm on a roller coaster....

December is traditionally a month during which I am inclined to goof off, a tendency which I suspect is not peculiar to me alone. Fact is that having survived 11 months of the year, I figure I deserve a little time off to recuperate, prepare body mind and soul for the new year to come.

My year..... was certainly an interesting one, that I confess to. It surely had its moments. The year started off on a positive note. Professionally I was given responsibility for something which I was able to put my heart and soul into, and six months of rather exhaustive effort on my part certainly paid off. On the flip side, my relationship with my colleagues deteriorated significantly. Perhaps my demands too exacting, perhaps my bluntness. End result though, certainly more against me than in my favour.

I consider myself to be a principled individual. And I believe that these are not compromisable. I am exacting when it comes to my responsibilities and expect no less from those around me. Commendable attributes I like to think, but the nett result rather discouraging.

To balance my professional life, my personal life was at a high. The woman I love filled me in many ways, and the fact is that I could not think of anyone else but her to be there, to share my life with.

Come the mid part of the year, the chicken entrails suggested that I needed to divert my energies into something tangible, something constructive. Taking the advice literally I embarked upon building a retreat. Numerous permutations later the final draft was rather different to what I had envisaged, but quite pleasing to my not too discerning eye. The Mangroves was born. The end result has been quite satisfactory, and while much remains to be done; what has been done warms the cockles of my heart.

Around this time I also got to hit the road and travel back to Africa. It's strange that I always think of it as going back, but the fact is that I have developed such an affinity that it always feels good to do so. This time around I think I set a new record of sorts, 11 countries in 40 odd days. Exhausting, but oh so exhilarating too!

This year was also about personal relationships, more so than the last decade has been I think. New friendships were made and old ones re kindled. I consider myself a lucky man, for over the years I have been blessed with the friendship of some exceptional people. I will never find the words to express my gratitude for that but believe me, I am grateful. To each of you, I can only say that I love you. Some of you I have known for years, others have appeared in my heavens just recently. Each one of you knows me for what I am in varying degrees, some more intimately than others, but all of you have touched me.

An unexpected turn of events and, disconcertingly, things at home took a dive. Right now, there seems an uneasy balance of sorts, Perhaps the calm before the storm for I sense that more is to happen.... we shall see. I have come to some rather depressing conclusions though. The first is that a greater proportion of marriages now are shams. Perhaps they start off right,, but then, the demands of life begin to take their toll. It also takes a special kind of person to make things work too.

Oh life's paths...... I don't regret my choices, but you know, since of late, I've been thinking back to a time where I could have taken another path..... and I am wondering where that would have taken me.....

Bravo!!!

Stand up Mr Chilcot and take a bow sir, for voicing what most of us think!!!

Mr Chilcot, is Britons envoy to Sri Lanka. And the gentleman recently delivered an address at which he stated that Sri Lankan Parliamentarians could be bought

http://www.lankabusinessonline.com/fullstory.php?newsID=57926473&no_view=1&SEARCH_TERM=33

Now what he said is in reality something that most of us already think and an opinion I shared too till I was corrected and in a manner which left no doubt that I had been misguided in my opinion. Sri Lankan Parliamentarian's cannot be bought. That's a fact, and I want to make it clear that this is my stand.

Sadly the truth is that they can be rented. Retained if you wish until the next round of talks come about, until someone offers more perks, be in a position, financial benefits, whatever. The so called elected members of our government are corrupt, unprincipled and in no way qualified to hold the positions that they do.

That is the state our nation is in

The Mangroves