Of happy thoughts

I am happy. I feel so much within me, and yet cannot find the words to articulate what goes on inside me.... where do I begin?

That the winds of change had shifted I am left in no doubt, the last ten days have been good days for me and I cannot recollect feeling so complete as I have since the dawn of this last month of the year.... much like the star that herald a great event 2007 odd years ago, a star has appeared in my sky too.... soon to disappear perhaps, but for now, it fills my heavens with a light that is bright and warm and so right. For now, for the little time that I have, I will hold it.

The lagoon is littered with little coves and inlets that meander for a little distance before petering out. This weekend found me at ease alongside one, my thoughts miles away... it was pleasant to be there.

The paddle is relaxing, the physical exertion welcome. My mind, my self at peace.

I dared the open waters too, an attempt to paddle the surf. Perhaps not a good idea to do so by myself; for my attempt was a failier,
beaten back by the violence of the surf as it crashed the shore. The kayak's bouyancy is too much for a single person to manage. A lesson learnt.

This path

Relationships, life, not an easy thing is it? Whatever I've been short off in life, the one thing that I have not been short of are good friends. Friends of the sort that you can say any jackass thing you want to, friends that you can call at 2am and bitch about some inane thing or the other, friends that you don't see for years and yet pick up where you dropped off from.

I've never been one to make friends easily; truth is, I rub most people off the wrong way. I am what I am and my life is guided by a few principles that I am not willing to compromise upon.... If this is difficult for some to digest, so be it.

But I digress....

Point I am trying to make, is that I 've got some really good mates. Some of them started of as lovers, before time and circumstances took us on different paths and yet, we managed to stay grand mates.... In my more emotional moments, I'm grateful to them all.

I feel good - (Click here!)

Ah, it feels good to be back.... on this last month of the year I feel good.

A swing in the wind Sarturday morn brought with it a sense of purpose and determination long missing in my life..... a sense of power which was only to grow stronger as the weekend progressed. Its good to be back, to be me.

The early part of the day was spent down at The Mangroves, work goes well, things are coming along nicely. I continue to be amazed at the sense of calmness that place weaves around me.

A night out to paint the town red that evening, to meet with old acquaintances and best of all, a friend. Life is strange in that way, you could know someone for many years and find nothing in common, or you could meet someone for a brief moment in time and have them touch you in a way that your soul dances. She is one such person. Someone I felt a sense of affinity to the moment we met, a sense of friendship that has withstood a decade during which our contact was of a bare casuality; and yet, knowing that just beneath the urbanity of our meetings, a sense of companionship.

Perhaps we will meet again, perhaps not, but the meeting has in its own way, brightened the light for me.

Saturday night was also a milestone for me I think. Something tells me that during the course of the evening, something went 'click'. I feel a sense of greater purpose now, that something of significance is about to launch itself.

Sunday, a few chores before lazing the rest of the day way...

I am a fortunate man

Life goes on......

The end of another year almost upon me... and the year has been an interesting one. It started of with much promise, things looked well for me and I thought that at last, the wind was blowing in my way, that this perhaps it was my time....

But this was not to be, the rot was soon to set in, initially a spot which over the months has grown, to blight my life professionally as well as personally.

What concerns me most is the state of my relationship with the woman I love.... it's spiralling down, and I fear the worse.

I don't know what to do...

Alex

I've been rather contemplative today.... a walk down back into the past, to wonder about paths not taken and where they may have taken me, of the women I have loved and how lucky I am to have been loved back. of gentle souls and sweet hearts.

I haven't given my thought to my little hobby in the sense never really tried to articulate what it does for me. A conversation along those lines with a dear friend got me thinking about it.

Shooting from the hip, of everyday life perhaps the easiest to do. The art lies in blending into the background to remain unnoticed. Fauna cetainly the hardest for the right shot requiring patience and the ability to move with minute movements. I say this as one who has no paraphanalia except for a standard lens.

Shooting people, individuals is what I like best. To try and capture the essense of a person, to preserve for ever one singular moment.

The difficulty lies in finding someone unhibited, un affected by the presence of a camera. But when you do, ah, the moment can be magical! Alex was outstanding in the sense that the camera loved her.

Me

A few free moments and a personality quiz... I am troubled sometimes as to what kind of man I am. Mostly comfortable with who I've become, there are moments when I wish I was a better person.

Personality type:
Quietly forceful, original, and sensitive. Tend to stick to things until they are done. Extremely intuitive about people, and concerned for their feelings. Well-developed value systems which they strictly adhere to. Well-respected for their perserverence in doing the right thing. Likely to be individualistic, rather than leading or following.

Careers:
Counselers, clergy, missionaries, teachers, medical doctors, dentists, chiropractors, psychologists, psychiatrists, writers, musicians, artists, psychics, photographers, child care workers, education consultants, librarians, marketeers, scientists, social workers.

An e-mail

An unexpected email let loose a flood of memories of a time gone by. The mail itself was minuet, five words of no great significance, but its very arrival was an event of note; bringing to mind a line, nothings forgotten, nothings ever forgotten.

Well, the flood took me back in time, to delve upon a small part of it, to contemplate how life’s path winds, how it meanders and forks. It’s at time such as this that I wonder what was down the paths I didn’t take. In life, unlike on a road trip, you can’t go back and take the next road.

The culmination of this was me re visiting an old friend – The Little Prince by Antoine De Saint Exupery. A gift from that time in my past, it’s a book I return to time and time again, to read in its entirety or to pick and choose passages from it. This time, this time I will read it as I did the first, slowly, loosing myself in its telling, discovering the hidden truths to be found within its pages. And, to that gentle soul that touched me, thank you. You are thought of with warmth and always with a smile.

If pressed I will confess to three books which have moved me profoundly – This, The Little Prince, Jonathan Livingston Seagull and Mister God, This is Anna. Two I was introduced to, the third I read for the first time in Readers Digest.

But I digress, me thinks I do.....

I guess what I really want to say is that I am fortunate

Culture - The Heritance Kandalama

My first experience, albeit short, of the Heritance Kandalama (http://www.heritancehotels.com/HK/location.php) was certainly a positive one - I was impressed.

Close to the pool where we sported, a group of talented people providing an audio visual experience so in line with the overall theme.

Smiley

It has been a while since I've posted, bordering on three weeks me thinks. The reasons have been many, including a singular lack of time; which is no real excuse. BUT, I am back and here we are.

I am now fully returned from my trip, and reality has bitten a largish chunk out of my arse. It speaks much about me when I say that I wish I was back on the road again, doing what I do best.

Work on the Mangroves has gone well, close upon completion though I have already run well out funds to finance it. But I will manage, it will be done.



Since my return I've had an opportunity to add to my pics, a few decent ones, nothing outstanding I hasten to assure you.

My day's have not been without drama and a fair amount of tension, both personally and professionally things are not too good right now. As things are, I need to maintain a low profile, try to mind my p's and q's and hope to survive to fight another day.